end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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