you guys were way drunker than both of me
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
