Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
