yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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