Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
