Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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