I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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