I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
