Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
