Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
