i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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