the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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