i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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