But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
