I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
