I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize
