Define "chronic" masturbator.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Randomize
