Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
