my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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