3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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