He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
