Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
