found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
