I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
