areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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