shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
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