just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
