I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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