your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
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