I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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