I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
