I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
