I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
