After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
