So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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