Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
