Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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