I think my fart just growled at me.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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