I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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