Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
