So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
