I think I died a long time ago.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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