my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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