whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
