Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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