Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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