Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
i think im in europe. pls send help
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
