i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
