eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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