I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
