im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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