i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
