i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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