he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
